It's Not Failure, It's Discovery

This is Learning to Balance Life Changes' sister page.  It is still taking shape and I am not absolutely sure how it will change along the way.  My hope is that you will find encouragement in these pages.

Image courtesy of [Evgeni Dinev]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One of the things now, that I do not worry about is failure.  

In Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life, he brought out some points that have stayed with me.  At the time I read it, I was feeling disappointed because my illnesses had affected my ability to continue in my dream job:  teaching.  Teaching is tough, hard work, and I was sure I would love teaching 7th graders, as much as I had loved teaching other ages.  And I did like it, but my physical strength was leaving me quickly.  There were days I drove home, that I felt like I was dying, because of my illnesses.

On Day 32, Warren talks about using your gifts.  He is talking about the spiritual gifts, which some people think of as abilities or talents that God gives each Christian.  Whether you are a believer in Christ or not, there is something that I think most people can take from what I learned.  Warren wrote, "Just start serving, experimenting with different ministries, and then you'll discover your gifts" ( 2002, p.251).  I realized that I had done that with teaching.  I was very good at teaching small groups, teaching younger students, and teaching high school students.  But as hard as I tried, I was no match for the shenanigans of 7th graders.  If I had been well...
I could have tried another grade or gone back to school for more training;  however, I was too ill.  And I loved teaching:  there were so many wonderful things I wanted to share with those students.

However, I don't think that was God's plan for me.

There were some other things that have stayed with me from Day 32, of Warren's book, that I think are now coming to fruition in my life.  One of them is that I am not afraid of failure.  In fact, I feel like you have not failed if you have tried to do something and it doesn't work out.  One does not figure out where he or she fits in life if he/she doesn't take action.  Warren wrote, "When it doesn't work out, call it an 'experiment,' not a failure.  You will eventually learn what you are good at" (2002, p.251).  When I read that, it began to change my life, because I was wallowing in my failure.  The light came on in my heart and head, and I knew God was showing me I was still on the path He had for me.  I just had to be patient and not give up.

And this is what I want to say to you.  You may be ill and frustrated because you cannot do all the things you  used to do;  however, this could be the thing that brings you to more defining moments in your life -- maybe, even The Defining Moment of your life.  I don't know whether you have more bad days than good days:  the affliction of chronic illness is so hard, and we are all at different places in our illnesses.  However, our afflictions can actually help mold us to be who we are supposed to be now.  I know that sounds unbelievable, but I am seeing it happen in my own life, and I don't know where it is going to take me.  It is better to have a dynamic life, than a stagnant life.  In a stagnant life the mud and debris gathers round you like a blocked stream.  However, in a dynamic life there is a flow:  it can be slow or it can be fast, but it is moving.  I have been moving slowly, and I have learned to enjoy the trip.  That is my wish for you -- that you will learn to enjoy the trip, at whatever speed you are moving.