Taking a Break with "An Angel in the House"

The assignment  for this week was to take a break and to write about it.

  

And that is exactly what I am doing.

(I just realized this is part of my break--little editing involved--lovely.)

It is going to be short and sweet, in the five minute writing mode, which I seldom do;  because, the truth is that there is very rarely anything I do that takes just 5 minutes -- I think.

In fact, I have only deleted a whole sentence once since I started, so if this isn't up to snuff we are just going to live with it, at least I am; because I feel horrible.  

And, if you have ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

or if you have ever had the flu, you know exactly what I am talking about.

However, that is off subject, and I am running out of time, but it is hard to think through a fuzzy head with one's ears ringing louder than usual, 

and besides  I feel like I have a fever too, but my temperature is a bit below normal.

OK.  

I will tell you what I did:  my husband doesn't even know;  because he was at a high school band concert, that I wanted him to go to, because really--I didn't:  but he did want to go, (and I said, "Go, because I really wanted him to do something that would be a break for him).

Oh, I forgot--brain fog and fuzziness took over--

I did do something quite fun and enjoyable.  I watched a heartwarming, family film,

 just the kind I love to watch:  it was called An Angel in the House.  It was sweet and funny with very good British actors, at least I am pretty sure they are British, because of their lovely accents.

(Surprise!  I even remember two actors' names--Richard Grant and Toni Collette.)

Not going to check the above--you can--if you really want to know.

I am not going to worry about the theology of the film, nor whether Jesus Christ was mentioned, 

because you know He isn't in most films.  The point is, this was good clean fun; and now, I think I would really enjoy Legoland if it was a good day, and I didn't have to walk much.

Bet you didn't know I could be so absolutely disjointed.

Brain Fog--you know.

Please join the rest of the God-sized Dream Team.  

I think all of us participants have become a dedicated  part of it.  

Also, I am happy to meet these wonderful people.  They are so brave to share their God-sized dreams.

And Holley, if you see this,  I want to tell you that

I think we should have a huge party at the end of the year.

Oh, actually we will.  We will celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ -- 

perfect timing, as far as I'm concerned.

Rest For My Soul

 God-sized Dream = A desire in your heart for more of what God has for you.

This week has been hard, and it has been easy.  How can that be?  How can hard and easy coexist, total opposites, yet juxtaposed together?   There is only one way that makes sense to me;  and I know it works, because I am experiencing it now.  

It is called rest, which is defined as freedom from activity, as well as experiencing peace of mind or spirit.  What an appropriate antonym for the opposing forces of an anxious mind with thoughts whirling or ping-ponging back and forth.  Even though my body does not often get the sublime rest of a good night's sleep because of frequent insomnia, or for lack of going into a deep sleep, I do not have to continually experience the unrest caused by the painful, confusing events of life.  I can still find calm for my mind and have peace in my spirit.

Rest For My Soul

Heart cries,

Emotions too deep to speak aloud,

Threaten to drown me -- to break me down.

Stunned with what I knew was coming,

It smacks me in my gut.

Momentarily, I lose control -- I sob; 

 And yet, I pray,

Crying out in all my pain.
Then,
Before the pillow dries, I hear,

Rest in me, rest in me, my dear.  1

Giving to God my heavy load of grief and anguish,

The light that keeps my soul is not extinguished.

His Holy Spirit comforts me with memories dear, 
Of God's word made clear.  
And in my mind I hear
His words of truth and comfort I keep near.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension,
 will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 2

These words of scripture are a gift to you and me, 
Indeed, a promise fulfilled for all who will believe.

Usually, I post my God-sized dream post on Tuesday;  but, as we all know, things happen we don't account for.  And for many this week, it has been a week of unusual occurrences and bad news.  As a nation in the USA, we have seen one of our oldest cities attacked on a day that was to be a fun, joy-filled day of celebration.  Bombs went off at the finishing line of the Boston Marathon.  3 people died -- 1 of them an 8 year old child.  The mother of the little boy that died has a brain injury and his sister lost a leg.  More than 140 people were injured, and their lives will never be the same.

Every day in this sin-filled world, people struggle with hunger, with disease, with loss, with fear, and with grief.  Yet God tells us to take everything to Him in prayer.  Moreover, God is not just talking about the things we think of as larger than life events.  When God's word says, everything, that includes what we may see as insignificant compared to what happened on Monday in Boston.  Nothing in our lives is insignificant to God:  He knows how many hairs are on our heads.  He wants to hear from us daily about all our concerns.

I will be eternally grateful that God can fill our hearts and souls with peace that is beyond comprehension. The hymn writer Horatio Spafford, who already had losses that would topple many men, wrote this hymn after yet another enormous loss -- the lives of  his four daughters, while they were crossing the Atlantic with their mother.

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

1. Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28, KJV).
2.  Philippians 4: 6-7, "Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission."  

 This is a God-sized dream post.  Every Tuesday, Holley Gerth hosts a place where we share what we have written about following God in our God-sized dreams with others that have been writing about the same thing.  Every week, we have an assignment.  Sharing with these ladies has been a little bit like a Bible Study and very like a fellowship.  One thing for sure, it has been a place to find encouragement and accountability with other Christians on following the Lord's plan for my life.

Worry Mode -- Questioning Mode

Worry Mode -- I have my own definition.

I was calling it Questioning Mode; 

 but now, I realize it really is worry mode;  and I don't like it. 

Nope.  Not.  At.  All.

  Worry Mode is when you start questioning things

 you have done,

Because

you are worried about what
 other people think.

 It may have started with the silly Chihuahua of Fear song. 

 I wrote it, because I am involved in the God-sized 

dream postings on Tuesdays.

Something tells me Holley's intentions were not for me to worry.

So why did this start?  Could it be I was afraid someone would 

think I was silly, instead of thoughtful,

Or flighty, instead of serious, 

Or shallow, instead of *religious and meditative?

But that little sliver of fear managed to finagle a way into my thoughts,

and I began to worry.

Oh dear, did I just put those words on paper.  OK.  I will leave them.

Let them fall where they may.

I am going to quit worrying and claim Philippians 6-7:

Be careful [anxious] for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication

with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth [surpasses] all understanding, 

shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

King James Version (Public Domain)

*I am not too worried about being religious. I think God wants me to be

an authentic follower of Jesus Christ, not religious. Why would I say such

a thing? I don't necessarily think being religious means you are  a
follower of Jesus. There are lots of religious people in this world,
 and they are not all Christians. 
 Following Jesus is definitely my top choice under any circumstances. 
 You see,
you have to believe in your heart He is not only the son of God. 
And Jesus was not just a really good man.  Nor was He a prophet.
He was with God from the beginning. 
In fact, He is God. 
 (Read John 1: 1-17)
That trips a lot of people up, but if you read the New Testament with a truly seeking heart, I think the Holy Spirit will show you the truth. 
 There has never been and will never be anyone else like Jesus.  

Chihuahua of Fear - the song

Dear Holley, you asked for funny.  I'm not sure if this is funny:  in fact, I feel kind of like I'm about to step in the doggy's dish.  It might fly up and hit me in my face.

Now, you get to see my weird, wild, and wacky side.  Well, I don't know about wild.  But I think the song I thought of is a little wacky.



Image courtesy of [akeeris]
/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I was ready to go to sleep, and I was hearing the following song develop in my mind.  Now, I am probably beginning to be a little slap-happy.  If you were here, we could have pizza and gingerale;  then, we could try to sing a duet or trio.  Hey!  Why not make it a four part women's chorus?  

By the way, if this were a slumber party, we could talk about why I chose the word "blinder" to describe the furry little canine of fear.  

Doesn't Fear try to blind us to where God is leading us to go?  


Fear gets in our minds, then to our hearts, trying to impede our progress into the promised land.  However, we don't have to live in fear.  Why?  

Because you are of God, little children and have overcome them...that is what I learned in 1 John 4:4 (NKJV). 

Why?  Because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.  

Amen and Amen!  I love this verse!  I don't have to look it up.  I memorized it a long time ago, because I had a huge problem with fear.  And that fear was more like *The Hound of the Baskervilles than a chihuahua.  

Another word in the chorus of our little song is sidewinder.  A sidewinder is a deadly, pit viper.  And we all know about "he who is in the world."  That is Satan, the Enemy, the Serpent -- the one who tempted Eve and Adam, who were pure and innocent, until they disobeyed God.  

Aren't you glad God is The Greatest, Almighty, Omnipotent?  I am.  I am ecstatic that He is merciful and He is love.  Most of all, I am thankful He provided a way of escape through the price Jesus paid for my sin and for your sin.  Moreover, I rejoice I am His child:  I am His.  Nothing can separate me from His love.  He has already won the victory, and it is written.  It's not a guess.

Sing to the tune of Oh, My Darling Clementine (Free Domain)

Dear Chihuahua of fear, I have a few things I'd like to say to you...


Verse 1:
In a heart, in the dark, lived a doggy most unkind.
He was stout, and all a-bout get-ting in your mind.

Chorus:
Dear chi-hua-hua,
Dear chi-hua-hua,
Dear chi-hua-hua of fear,
You're a blinder,
A side-winder,
Dread chi-hua-hua of fear.

Verse 2:
I read my Bible, the Holy Bible, made it all the way through.
You thought you'd keep me from reading, now you are so blue.

Chorus:
Dear chi-hua-hua,
Dear chi-hua-hua,
Dear chi-hua-hua of fear,
You're a blinder,
A side-winder,
Dread chi-hua-hua of fear.

Now, we should end with a hymn like Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.  I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see...(Rev. John Newton, free domain).  Those are the words I want going through my head. 

My God-sized dream is to read the Bible through in a year.  What is your God-sized dream?  Come join the sister dreamers at Holley Gerth's "Heart to Heart with Holley."  We are a friendly group being hosted at Holley's blog to share our journeys as we travel the paths of our God-sized Dreams.

Journal Creatively for Healing - updated with fresh pictures and more information.

This is an update of a post I wrote in  November of 2012.  I have spent many hours journaling creatively, and I have found it to be an enjoyable and therapeutic.  I cannot imagine giving up journaling in this manner.   I already had one book about art journaling, but I wanted something fresh and unusual.  I thought it was time to play a little.  The book I chose was Journal Bliss by Violette.  I have thouroughly enjoyed  learning how to make my journal my own.

Sometimes it helps to get the negative thoughts out,
 and  work on changing them to positive thoughts.

Writing your thoughts down on paper can clear your head, and help you make sense of your life.  Creative expression, whether it is doodling, mixed media, or simply writing down your thoughts in your own handwriting can be an outlet of spiritual expression, as well as therapy for changing negative thoughts into positive thoughts. 

This is one of the first journal pages I did.
It's not fancy:  I used lots of stickers.
But the words had power and connection.
This was a big step in my healing process.

Spending 5 to 15 minutes writing or drawing may be just the thing to help you think more calmly or to help you focus when you are in a fog.  You may find you want to spend longer.  I also enjoy responding to scripture I have read:   I remember it better, and it often becomes a prayer or a meditation.  Expressing yourself creatively is something that you can do freely, as an enjoyable outlet for healing in your life -- no worrying about doing it perfectly allowed.

If you would like to read more about creative expression:  there are some excellent books that have wonderful ideas and examples to learn from.  Some are a treat just to browse through.  I have created a list for you to look through:  books that I have already enjoyed, as well as others I still want to read.

This was just for fun.  And I was practicing different techniques 
I could use in my journal.
I especially like the heart on the left and the angel.

Art as Relaxation -- After An April Shower

Winter

This week, I have been doing some things that I found restful, like taking pictures.

Spring
Image by D. Bolton

And then, I went away from restful, to learning how to make a movie and add music.

I hope you find this short movie to be a relaxing interlude in your day, away from the stress of the world.

I suppose you could say, this is one of my ways to live better with chronic illness.  

I have found new activities to enrich life as I live it now. 

 Welcome to After An April Shower.

After Talking To My Friend -- 5 Minute Friday

Image Courtesy of [foto76]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After, 

I talked to my best friend for two hours

like we were 15 again, 

except now we talk about

health

husbands

grandchildren

parents

memories,

I know

it is still girl talk.

feeling like a girl again,

with all my aches and pains, 

is fun, 

almost like the bad stuff in life never happened.

She refreshes me.

I hope she feels refreshed after our 

two hour conversation.

so far from each other

yet so near in spirit,

we laugh,

we cry,

we giggle,

we say goodbye,

and 

we talk again about something else.

then,

 we have to force ourselves to leave

each thinking of the other

and how she should get her rest.

i love my friend;

how grateful

 i am for my sister in the spirit.

how can we be so much alike, 

when we spent so many years apart?

Lisa-Jo Baker has inspired a whole posse of bloggers to write every Friday on a prompt of her choosing.  Today, the prompt was After.  It's a sort of
stream of consciousness writing style.  You set a timer for 5 minutes and write without worrying about perfection.  You write what is in your heart.
It's a challenge and a joy.  If you want to read more 5 minute Friday posts, click on "the gypsy mama button.  And you just might be inspired to write a blog post of your own, or write for 5 minutes in your journal.  It's lots of fun.

Unfinished

"Unfinished"  Image by D. Bolton

All of a sudden, I'm tired,

And I need to rest.

Too much information in this techinical-savvy world

Invades my brain and my space.

Where is quiet and simplicity in life -- just the joy of being?

How do I learn to keep the strife of others from invading the tentative peace 

That can easily be shattered by my own perceived inadequacies?

Why do I care?

All of a sudden I long for a glass of lemonade or a cup of tea on the porch while chatting with a friend.

Instead, I wonder if there are some people I should unfriend in this world of instantaneous connection.

But I answered a call.

How can I turn from that?

And yet, I wonder will my friends see that "Like"

The ad that isn't me, but was posted by someone else.

Will they wonder who I really am?

How careful should I be in a world that needs a Savior?

It's not about me, 

Or my reputation.

It is all about Him, Jesus, who was accused of eating with sinners.

And I'm so glad He did.

They knew how to laugh and appreciate Him.

They were happy to find love that was real with no pious facade.

I have never ever liked pious, self-righteous facades,

All about looking and feeling justified, 

But bogged down in legalistic jargon.

Why this rant?  I don't know.  Maybe, I feel a bit low.

But only for a moment.  It will pass.

I am just trying to remember I have to walk where God takes me,

Regardless of whether it fits in my little box of  safety,

My notion of who I am supposed to be.

Image by D. Bolton

Feeding Our Hearts

Wow!  What is the why behind my God-sized dream?  I like that question.  In fact, the why should get clearer if the dream is, indeed, God-sized and shaped by Him.
  

Number 1 on my list is reading through the Bible in one year.  The neat thing about this year is our pastor encouraged our entire church to do it;  and those of us who committed to this have the encouragement of fellow believers.  We are using the One Year Bible, which has been a different way for me to read my bible.  I usually study a book at a time, but I am reading the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs at the same time.  My husband is too, so it is nice to have family feedback.

Reading through the Bible was something I had already started, but the accountability factor here has been a blessing.  Another thing I have been doing is looking for the thread of Jesus through the whole Bible.  It's there.  Hallelujah.  And this is worth fighting for, because reading God's word will help me know Him better.  He is my reason for being, my Creator, and I need Him.  I think we should all know our heavenly Father and Jesus better.

Jesus said when He was being tempted in the desert after having fasted for forty days and nights, "It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God" (KJV, Matthew 4: 4).  I have also heard the Bible called the bread of life.  And I can testify that through the joys, the trials, and the tribulations of life, scripture has been my food.  It is food for my heart and for my mind.  I am taught and uplifted.  I can never hear or read too much of the Holy Bible.  Indeed, I am sure God has used His word in the best and the worst times of my life. 

God's Word feeds our faith, comforts our hearts, and helps us to grow in following Him.  

I am reminded of prisoners of war during the Vietnam era, who spoke of how the verses, they memorized as children in Sunday school, gave them hope.  Can you think of any better hope?  They would actually whisper these verses, tap them out in secret, and pass them to each other.  It brings tears to my eyes, because they knew they could die any moment.  The conditions there were horrible:  many of them had been tortured beyond belief.  And I know this is still happening.  There are Christians that are being persecuted and dying for their faith, even now.  What especially touched me in the testimonies of these Vietnam veterans was that the scripture they learned as children, who did not know their futures, became their mainstay -- their connection to God and His care for them during intolerable, horrifying situations.  It is beyond what most of us can comprehend, never having been where they were.

My number 2 dream has been a part of my life for a long time, because  I have always wanted to be a Proverbs 31 woman, a godly homemaker and helper to my husband.  However, it is no longer easy for me to keep house.  And since I have always been the head organizer and decorator of the home in our marriage: the uncluttered, clean house has taken a big hit.  I'm having to find ways to do things differently.  I can no longer manage my former household tasks the way I did when I was healthy.  And even though my husband is very supportive and helps me, there are still jobs that tend to fall in my domain. 
  
So, the number two dream is to declutter my house.  

Also, I am still trying to organize after having moved into a smaller home.  You would not believe the memories I have gone through, the boxes of paper I have shredded.  I actually wore out our second shredder, a very good one.  There are places you can take boxes of paper to be shredded, but I didn't know that at the time.  And I doubt there is one near me.  

Simplicity is my goal.  I figure, the less we have, the less my husband and I have to clean.  Chronic illness has cured me of wanting more things than I need.  However, I still have to admit to holding onto a few things I might use again someday, like those records I don't have a record player for.  For you youngins'  that is a round plastic disc with grooves that plays music  -- giggle.    And there are a few clothes that may fit me again someday, when I lose twenty to thirty pounds.  Please don't ask me when that is going to happen: maybe that will be my next dream.

One more thing:  the following is one my favorite scriptures.  We used to have verse four on our babies' nursery wall on a Precious Moments poster.
Psalm 37

⁴ Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

⁵ Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.

                          New King James Version     

What precious promises God's word has for us.  Aren't you glad? 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, I would like to invite you over to Holley's place to share a cup of coffee or some tea with us.  Holley makes me feel right at home, and she has graciously connected us with other God-sized dreamers, lovely women who I think will inspire you too.