Difficult Assignment - well today, it is.

My assignment today is difficult, because I admit that I am depressed.  And right now, it is not invisible, because I am in the same nightgown I have had on for 3 or 4 days.  That sounds gross, and it is an awkward thing to admit.  However, that is part of being ill sometimes -- having awkward, embarrassing things you don't want to admit.  Being this way does not fit my picture of who I am when I am feeling better -- or the person I was before I was ill.  Yes, I know it does not seem to be in the category of Living Better With Invisible Illness;  however, it is something one has to get through when having an invisible illness.  Right now, I am tired of myself, and I realized today, I am like a kid saying, "No, Dad or Mom, I don't want to get up.  I am not going to do it.  It hurts...I'm scared...I refuse...I, I, I, I , I."  

So even though I look and feel like a mess, I am going to step out to do my God-Sized Dream assignment, which is to write about another time I took a positive step in my life. 

This is not me or one of my professors,
but it reminds me of the days I  had
 a professor teaching me how to use
a computer;   and I'm thankful for it.
Image courtesy
 of [Ambro]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Going back to school after having been married for 17 years and having 3 children was a frightening step for me.  I was comfortable being a wife, a mom, singing in the choir and being Children's Choir Coordinator and director for one of the Children's Choirs.  However, going back to school with teenagers, going to class, and taking tests was daunting.  I had prayed about doing it, but I was still afraid;  until, I saw senior adult ladies with white hair at the college orientation.  When I saw them, I knew I could do it.  If they had the nerve to go back to school as 62-70 somethings, I was going to do it too.  And I did one step at a time

Each step I took gave me more self-confidence as I excelled in learning.  Oh how I enjoyed it!  I was in my niche, and God was right there with me.  Little did I know, I would not be teaching as I had planned, but I would be writing.  However, I didn't know I would be writing about falling down and getting up again, time after time.  But isn't life like that?  Things don't always go our way, or so we think;  but I can trust the God of the Universe, the Creator, the One who knows how many hairs are on my head, and where my path leads.  He revives me, even when I don't think I am ready for revival.  He helps me to take one more baby step on this rocky path, and I grab His hand knowing I can trust my God.  

I just took this step, now I can take another.  Is it so hard to get in the shower?  I don't think so.